by D’Leereeus Johnson, DP Senior Managing Editor
Monday, February 3rd, 2014,
(EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ) —Less than 24 hours after achieving one of the most lopsided victories in Super Bowl history, the National Football League stunned the nation by announcing it will be revoking the championship title from the Seattle Seahawks and handing it to the soundly defeated Denver Broncos. The reason: bullying!
The Seahawks won Super Bowl XLVIII by a score of 43—8, Sunday night. By halftime the game had all but been decided, with the Seahawks dominating the entire matchup, leaving the Denver Broncos with only a hiccup of success —one touchdown and a two-point conversion. However, regardless that the Seahawks played their hearts out and proved themselves an inarguably better team, the fact they beat Denver so badly has led Broncos’ owner Pat Bowlen to declare Payton Manning and the rest of his team had been “bullied” by Seattle, thereby deserving the coveted Vince Lombardi Trophy. The formal reversal of the victory will be take place at noon on Wednesday, Pacific Time.
“The Seahawks knew they were winning decisively by the middle of the second quarter, yet they still persisted in playing better and humiliating us! It just wasn’t fair!” said a shaken John Fox, Head Coach of the Broncos after Sunday night’s obliterating loss. “(The Seahawks) had proved themselves with a 22-point lead by halftime,” continued Fox, “but they still had to push and push and push on. This was not ‘winning’ or ‘playing’ football. This was bullying!”
It did not take long for Fox, Bowlen and others on the Broncos staff to convince NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell that the Broncos were victims of bullying, the new and worst scourge of Mankind, and deserved to win Super Bowl 48 not because of their atrocious playing, which included four turnovers and only one touchdown by the end of the third quarter, but because the Seahawks played “beyond their abilities, not proving they were a better team but abusing the fact they were a better team,” said Commissioner Goodell said in a formal press release Monday afternoon.
“When a player or a team in any sport proves decisively that they have won the game early on, then persist in exercising their talent, it no longer becomes a game, but about the opponent or opponents’ dignity; their self-esteem,” read Goodell’s statement. “…There are enough bruised egos and hurt feelings in professional football already. And this reversal of who ‘officially’ won the Super Bowl Sunday night should send a loud message to abusers of the game of football, not those who respect it and win with decency.”
The NFL has already had a year plagued by the national obsession with bullying, with Miami Dolphins offensive lineman Richie Incognito sending nasty e-mails with ethnic slurs against teammate Jonathan Martin. Outside the NFL, schools around the country are also cracking down on student athletes showing off their talents and hard work by scoring overwhelming victories, with parents of one Texas high school complaining their children’s football team was “bullied” after their rivals beat them by 91 to 0 (zero).
Headlines after the championship game ranged from everything from “Sunday Night Slaughter” to “Not Even Close,” “Disaster”, “The Super Blow”, “Broncos More a Mess Than George Washington Bridge,” to “Denver Broncos Fail to Take Field in Super Bowl XLVIII”. As expected, Denver quarterback Payton Manning and teammates are already mortified by their 35-point loss, however are not sure what to make of the NFL’s decision to declare them the victors of Sunday’s championship game.
“This is a strange turn of events and I don’t know how to react to it, honestly,” Said Payton Manning to the Denver Post, Monday. “I mean, we were overconfident and sloppy. We turned the ball over. I underestimated the Seahawk’s defense and Russell Wilson. They caught all the breaks and we caught none. But I don’t know how to except the Lombardi Trophy when we just weren’t playing better football.”
But others in the NFL are steadfast in its decision to “pity” the blundering Broncos and ease their broken hearts by handing them the Lombardi Trophy out of mercy and a sense of fairness. Said NFL Competition Committee League member and head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers (who had an abysmal year themselves), Michael Tomlin, “Bullying is an epidemic in American schools, sports, workplaces, in marriages –virtually everywhere and it must be stopped at all costs! It’s why there’s any hurt feelings or conflict in the world at all!”
The NFL Competition Committee, in agreement with Commissioner Goodell, voted 6 to 3 to hand the victory to the Broncos and formally reverse Sunday night’s victory for the record book.
Protests have been surprisingly scant in Seattle, as the city went from explosive jubilation Sunday night to shock and bewilderment Monday as the NFL announced its decision to punish its team for “beating the Broncos too much.” But being an overwhelmingly liberal city, its residents are all too conscious of the issue of bullying, and use it as much as possible to get their way in the most trivial matters; anytime Seattle residents disagree about anything, according to its Mayor Ed Murray, Monday.
“The people of Seattle know the pride in being winners. But then we know the shame in winning, too, and applying yourself too hard to something and succeeding,'' said Mayor Murray, Monday evening. ''Therefore I, as mayor, agree with Commissioner Goodell’s decision. We should not have beaten the Broncos so badly and hurt their feelings the way we did. …That’s just not the Seattle way. It’s not my way, or my wife, Michael’s, either.”